I am assertive, confident, and successful
I have trained in self-defense, self-offense, and combative weapons
I spend most nights in small-town Mississippi, on a quiet street, in a home blanketed with security, guarded by three large-breed dogs, and surrounded by those I love
And, yet — I am scared to spend the night alone
Terrified, really…
Did I mention, I am 40+ years old??
– — — –
As I get older [I can’t quite claim wiser…], the less content I am to continue living with personal “challenges”
Obviously, my quality of sleep is a challenge
After trying several “home-remedies” [with zero success], I contacted our local sleep-guru
Our consultation started out as any new doctor visit — how old? weight? height? tobacco? alcohol? hallucinations?
Me: Wait…what?! How dare you?! I’m not crazy, Doc!! NO!! I do NOT have hallucinations!! [said in a quite offended tone]
Doc: So you never go to sleep, and wake-up seeing a spider on you? Or someone in the corner of your room? And they are all so real????
Me: Well, duh — that happens every night
Doc: So…you have hallucinations…??
Me: Oh. Ehhhhh…. Yeah
Several sleep tests later, I was gifted with an explanation: narcolepsy
– — — –
A cold shiver of pain ripped through my entire body
I opened my eyes wide in fear
As I scanned my surroundings, hoping to gain my bearings, it was pitch black, and I couldn’t see a thing
I must have tripped over a log…
The sound of my heartbeat echoed loudly
Too loudly…
Wait…
That’s not my heartbeat — it’s his…
As I tried to get up, he slammed me to the ground
The pressure…
His foot covered my entire chest
As he pushed down harder on my chest, his raw strength shoved me deeper into the mud
I couldn’t scream…
I couldn’t even catch my breath under his pressure
I could feel every excited exhale on my skin
His pungent-smelling drool had soaked me
As he leaned in closer, I could make out the dark scales on his body
I couldn’t move…
As he threw his head back and screamed into the night, he put all of his weight onto my upper torso, and ripped my legs off from the thigh down
The cold pain… The sound of my bones crunching, and tendons ripping… My stomach turned… I started seeing black spots… The blood loss was overwhelming…
I was being eaten by a dinosaur
Out of nowhere, a gentle hand touched me…
Will.
Within seconds, the monitors started shrieking…
My blood sugar had plummeted below 40, and my heart rate had climbed to 171
Within minutes, the monitors started shrieking again…
My blood sugar had now climbed over 200, and my heart rate had dropped to 40
Will waited patiently…
His warm hand on me, with no sudden movements, as the sleep-paralysis wore off
It was just a dream…
A very real and terrifying dream, that would replay a similar event, two more times that same night
Welcome to narcolepsy, where your dreams are vividly real, sleep-paralysis imprisons you, and your body succumbs to the stressors of fight-or-flight, sometimes — multiple times a night
You can't buy time, BUT... 