Barbie + Conservatives + Feminism + Wokeness

Offended yet? Hold on to your hat, there’s more…

As a young’un, I was fully convinced that if I hid my eyes, you could not see me [“invisible technique”]I Once that bubble was bursted, I learned something even better – if I close my eyes, I cannot see you!!

Which brings me to Barbie. Yes, you read that right, Barbie.

Now, how in the world does the “invisible technique” bring us to Barbie, you ask? Statistically… outspoken, conservative, grumpy, old men [per the Gallup poll, 89% are white].

Quick interjection:

I love these outspoken, conservative, grumpy, old men — especially the ones “living below the Mason-Dixon line”.

While I may “speak my mind” a little too loud for some, do not, for one minute, dare to believe that I am belittling these men.

Southern etiquette is alive and well, and I appreciate the majority of gestures our gentlemen make. I am a true Southern Woman, and make no apologies.

I recently shared my personal opinion of the Barbie movie, and boy, I did not expect the comments and calls I received. [If you’re curious, here is the blog: Barbie Got It Wrong .]

Double standards

While I would love to point out the double standards in movies, such as toxic masculinity [“Pretty Woman”, “Deadpool 2”, “The Fifth Element”], misogyny [“The God Father”, “James Bond”, “Scarface”], or sexism [“Splash”, “Animal House”, “Shallow Hal”], it all boils down to a few outspoken, conservative, grumpy, old men — getting their feelings hurt.

Me again, with one more interjection:

I have gasped, laughed, and watched every movie I mentioned above. I enjoyed most of them, and what I did not enjoy, I utilized my “swipe and scroll” technique [vs bashing the movie online].

Pay no attention to the fact that these are some of the same outspoken, conservative, grumpy, old men that have told others to stop being “snowflakes”, and to “quit being offended by everything”.

While some are convinced Barbie is full of “out-of-context tropes, pitted against each other to create a sense of victimization”, that is true— for them. But for others, Barbie was able to put into words the daily balancing act some women experience — and that is true, for them.

Life experiences

Our life experiences shape us into who we are, and how we process incoming data. What may be offensive to you, may be amusing to me. Can we all at least agree on this?

Great, we all agreed. Here’s where the dilemma arrives…

I tell you the data is not offensive to you, based solely on facts from my life experiences. You tell me, the data is offensive to me, based solely on facts from your life experiences. Bitterness quickly ensues, words get heated, and before we both know it, the gloves are off…

However, if we pause and circle back to the agreed upon statement, “Our life experiences shape us into who we are, and how we process incoming data”, then how is anyone to imply how another feels is “wrong”? The correct answer, is we can’t.

Here’s where it gets really confusing…

Let’s say you are sexist, but not in your mind, and not based off of your life experiences. No amount of arguing, hot air, or temper tantrums will convince you otherwise.

Your sexist comments offend me, based off of my life experiences. No amount of arguing, hot air, or temper tantrums will convince me otherwise.

Still with me here? If you are, you may feel pretty defeated at the moment…

You don’t have to — there is a solution. Curiosity. And if you’re anything like me, you need an example of how curiosity could solve the dilemma at hand [in this case, my feedback on Barbie].

Lead with curiosity

Enter, Coach Greg. He read my blog, and instead of responding with how he felt about it, he shot me a text: I have a question boss. You have a second for me?

I called. He’s not a “beat around the bush” kinda guy, so he asked me point blank about my blog, and why I felt the way I did. […CURIOSITY…] Instead of being offended by his question [TIP: if you want to initiate change, patience is required…not a tongue lashing], I encouraged his curiosity, and we had a respectable, and eye-opening exchange.

He left the conversation with a glimpse into my world, and with stories that appalled him. I left with a respect for his curiosity, and a glimpse into his world. No one was called a “snowflake”, and no one was belittled for being “ignorant”- WIN WIN!!

Here is one of the stories I shared with him:
‘A Woman Does Not Need a Jeep Like This‘

While I can now giggle at the absurdity of this illustration, this is only one of thousands… If you “cannot believe this happens”, and “refuse to believe a man would act this way”, then I would encourage you — ask a woman in your life. But, please — do not ask by telling them how they feel, and how they are wrong. Place your life experiences off to the side, step into the story from their eyes, and just listen…